S9, Ep. 14: Rebeccah

Rebeccah Carlson is a transracial adoptee born in Georgia and raised in the Midwest. Growing up, she often felt a sense of disenfranchised grief and longed for information about her origins. In her late twenties, Rebeccah began a journey of self-discovery which led to reunion with her birth family. This experience helped start the process of mending her fractured identity and deepened her understanding of the broader realities of adoption.

Since then, Rebeccah has found greater healing by publicly sharing her story with others. From podcasts to news articles, Rebeccah has openly explored her lived experience in effort to grow, recover, and transform. Her mission is to create space for authentic conversations related to adoption, identity, and belonging, ensuring other adoptees feel validated in their unique journeys. Rebeccah has also enjoyed volunteering for adoption-related causes, most recently ending her multi-year tenure as Board Chair of the Adoptee Mentoring Society. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona.

S9, Ep. 13: Jill

Jill was conceived in Washington and born in Texas, adopted at birth during the Baby Scoop era, in a closed-file adoption through Home of the Holy Infancy to a same-race couple who was infertile. They had adopted a baby boy but he wasn’t as promised. Before they could return to the well to get the baby girl they always wanted, the nuns miraculously placed her with her new parents on Christmas Eve! The nuns who decided her fate believed in genetic mirroring matching her to people with similar demographics. They did that for all their babies, playing chess with their lives. When Jill was two, her adoptive father died. 

When she was four, her mother remarried the only daddy she ever knew, a widower with six kids. She lived in a big blended family, rich in love, heritage, and tradition. 

Jill always knew she was adopted but completely disassociated from it. Talk about FOG, she was in DEEP. Her mother tried to turn her story into a fairytale that her birth mother loved her very much but she still couldn’t keep her. 

Jill knew nothing of her origin until she was 57 years old! Now, pushing 60, she has learned many things about her paternal and maternal sides. Her maternal grandpa even had a 2nd secret family. She figured this out all thanks to DNA, which provided her mother’s name which was the key to everything. That was then used to obtain her original birth certificate, and court records, and get the adoption agency files unsealed for cause!

In reunion since that fateful phone call in June of 2022, she has continued to forge a path forward with all who are interested. 

Jill isn’t needy. That’s the worst! She is grateful not because she should be but because she is. Never putting all kidding aside, she’s constantly joking. She hopes you read between the lines above to see her beautiful pain. She isn’t bitter! Not anymore. This is what is. Adoption, what a wild ride!

S9, Ep. 12: Mike

Born in 1970 in Iowa, Mike was adopted at just 10 days old. His adoptive father passed away in 1972, leaving Mike and his family to navigate life without him. From an early age, Mike felt a profound curiosity about his biological roots and has spent much of his life searching for answers.

The journey to uncover his origins has been full of unexpected twists and turns, leading to the discovery of many biological family members—some of whom have been an incredible blessing and others a more complex addition to his story. Through it all, Mike has learned not only about his family but also about himself and the resilience required to embrace both the joy and challenges of reunion.

Mike continues to explore and reflect on what family means while finding strength in the connections he’s built. He lives in Iowa and remains passionate about sharing his journey with others navigating similar paths.

S9, Ep. 11: Ann

Ann is a Baby Scoop-era adoptee. Born to teenage parents in the early 1960s, she was adopted when she was not quite two weeks old. She’s always known she was adopted. Her adoptive mother told her against the wishes of her adoptive father when she was very young. Knowing caused her a great deal of angst growing up because she felt her adoptive parents were withholding information from her and that coupled with feeling and looking different from her adoptive family was a constant source of cognitive dissonance that lasted into adulthood.

As an adult, Ann searched for her birth mother over the years but with little information to go on, and the imperfect search options available to her, she found nothing. It wasn’t until her daughter convinced her to take a DNA test in 2019 that solid leads led her first to a maternal cousin and then to her birth mother’s family and set her on the journey to discover where she came from, and how it shaped who she’s become.

S9, Ep. 10: Melanie

Melanie Green is an infant adoptee from a private domestic adoption in the 1980s. Her adoption was facilitated by a lawyer known for high-dollar adoptions of babies with blonde hair and blue eyes, and for putting financial pressures on birth parents so they wouldn't be able to change their minds. Estranged from much of her adoptive family, she was hesitant to find her birth family. 

After facing some scary medical news, she started her search for her personal medical history in 2021. She wanted her children to be able to get screened for preventable conditions that they were at risk for but would have no way of knowing due to her adoption. She took an Ancestry DNA test and found some cousins and a search angel at DNAngels who helped her find her living relatives and get as much medical history as possible. She learned her mother died in 2012 at age 50, well before she started her search. Because she doesn't have her real birth certificate, she is unable to request the records of what caused her mother's death.

She found out she had a half-sister on her father's side that she continued searching for. All she knows is that she was adopted by an affluent family in Lake Forest, Illinois, and was born around 1985. She's joined Lake Forest area moms groups in hopes of finding her sister and letting her know about their shared medical history.

Today, she's a professional writer and serial entrepreneur. She earned her Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing from National University and her Bachelor of Arts in Writing from the University of Tampa. She loves camping, traveling, and going to history and science museums. 

S9, Ep. 9: Andrea

Born in 1976, Andrea is a same-race, domestic adoptee with international roots. Andrea's birth mother was from Greece and traveled to Sacramento, California, where she gave birth to and relinquished Andrea before promptly leaving the U.S. Raised as an only child in her adoptive family, Andrea spent most of her life understanding her adoption story as a single narrative about how a couple who couldn't have a child of their own "chose" her. It wasn't until the birth of her daughter in 2010 that Andrea started asking questions about her relinquishment and her birth mother's story. Andrea reunited with her birth mother Voula in Greece in 2019, three years before Voula died.

Andrea has spent the better part of her forties uncovering the details of Voula's journey to the United States and back to Greece, in an effort to understand where Andrea can call home. Ultimately landing halfway between California and Greece, Andrea has made her home in Queens, New York, where she lives with her husband and daughter and teaches academic writing to college students. She has begun writing about her adoption journey for the Adoptee Voices E-Zine. She is grateful for adoptee communities, like the one created by Adoption the Making of Me, where adopted people can share their stories.

S9, Ep. 8: Shawn

"Just a quick note - this episode contains language some listeners might find offensive -- regarding experiences involving racism."

In 1963, Shawn was placed for adoption because his white mother's family didn't want a biracial grandson. As an infant, he passed for white, and he was adopted by a racist, rural Indiana family who didn't realize that he was black. Ashamed of his ethnicity, his mother concocted lies to hide his race from everyone, including Shawn.

This lack of racial identity caused depressing confusion and conflict with his education, relationships, and career, but his mother insisted that he was not to search for his birth family until after she died.

Around age 40, Shawn and his wife decided that he was well-suited to adopt other biracial babies. Through the adoption process, he discovered clues that helped him locate and reunite with his biological family.

S9, Ep. 7: Lisa

Lisa was born in 1958 and grew up in Franklin, Indiana. She was the youngest of two children, both of whom were adopted. As far back as she can remember, she always knew she was “chosen.”

With no real information to go on, and after submitting her DNA with no close family matches, her husband spent hours putting together a family tree. Through this effort, they were able to identify her biological father. She believes they have identified her biological mother as well, but they have not yet attempted to make contact.

Lisa now lives in the St. Louis, Missouri area, where she has two wonderful children and a grandson. She also has bonus children and grandchildren, whom she enjoys spending time with. She currently works as a software consultant but is on the verge of retiring. In addition, she has two Bernedoodles that keep her very active.

Finding this podcast has finally helped her feel that she is definitely not alone!

S9, Ep. 6: Matt

In 1983, Matt’s mother delivered him in a metro Detroit hospital. Within a week he was relinquished to Catholic Social Services, and moved into foster care to spend the first three months of his life.

A married couple, unable to have a natural child themselves, adopted and raised him lovingly as their first child. While growing up, Matt always knew he was adopted, but besides this knowledge, his family rarely discussed the topic of adoption.

Matt has been in reunion since 2009 with members of his biological family on his maternal and paternal side, including his first mother. Only since 2022, though, has ‘The Fog’ over his eyes begun to lift - that of the dominant narrative surrounding the American adoption system.

Today, Matt lives in northwest lower Michigan with his girlfriend, their two cats, and his two biological sons. He is writing a memoir about his life as an adoptee.

S9, Ep. 5: Jennifer

Jennifer is an adoptee born in Orange County, California, in 1963. The first six weeks of her life remain a mystery. Although she was adopted by a loving family, her journey has not been easy. As part of the Baby Scoop Era, she was relinquished at birth and spent her early weeks in foster care.

Her adoptive family, led by the daughter of a well-known artist and former model, provided a stable home, but Jennifer always felt like she wasn’t enough. She grew up as the middle child with two brothers: her older brother, who was also adopted, and her younger brother, the biological son of her adoptive parents, who had been surprised by his arrival, as they had previously been told they couldn’t have children.

Jennifer always knew she was adopted, though she can’t remember being explicitly told. As she grew older, she became curious about her origins and began wondering who she might resemble. This curiosity led her down a destructive path, turning to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. Years of rebellion, running away, and conflicts with her parents culminated in her legal emancipation at age 15.

Things continued to spiral out of control until she ended up in a treatment center in Portland, Oregon. Once she had regained clarity, Jennifer realized she needed to understand her medical history, and so began a search for her biological family. Remarkably, it only took three hours for a search specialist to find them.

However, not all reunions are as heartwarming as one might hope. Jennifer’s birth mother, sadly, had no interest in reconnecting and refused to meet her. Despite this, Jennifer did find a half-brother with whom she still maintains a relationship. Tragically, her birth mother passed away in 2023, never having met the daughter she had given life to in 1963. In Jennifer’s words, “It’s her loss.” Coincidentally, just weeks after her birth mother’s death, Jennifer’s adoptive mother passed away as well.

Today, Jennifer has come to terms with the reality that she will never know the woman who gave birth to her. Meeting other biological family members has become a meaningful part of her journey. She is currently working on her memoir, Sometimes You Just Need a Lollipop: A Very Adult Story of My Spiritual Awakening, a candid exploration of her life’s struggles, her search for self, and her spiritual growth.

S9, Ep. 4: Adam

Adam was adopted from Huentitán el Alto, in Jalisco, Mexico. Ron and Wendy had already adopted a son so they planned on adopting a girl as their second child to be named Amy but she suddenly passed away and out of distraught they told the lawyer to give them the next baby available, me. They changed names from Amy to Adam.

Adam always felt different, like from another world. He exhibited signs of abandonment issues early on never allowing his mother to leave him without crying. In hindsight, he can say it was because he didn’t think she would come back. Not in the sense that other kids cry for their mom to pick them up, he thought she might never come back. This fear of being left developed well into his teens and adulthood in the form of abusive relationships which he would never leave and manifested into several life-threatening situations. 

To couple this, Adam experienced an Identity crisis and at the age of 17, he felt as if his name no longer fit him. He wasn’t Juan Carlos anymore (his birth name) but he no longer felt comfortable claiming the full name his adoptive parents gave him. He legally changed it to keep Adam and to have Esparza Plascencia as his surname, given to him at birth. Maybe he could feel as if he was a part of both. He knew his name because he kept his adoption certificate, more or less a one-page contract that his birth mother signed in pen, Maria De Jesus Esparza Plascencia. At times when he was left alone with his thoughts he would trace the engraved ink on the parchment to bring him closer to her. To try and feel her sentiment. 

Adam works as Director for a CBO (Community Based Organization) specializing in youth outreach in elementary schools through the Queens, NY borough and is licensed by the OCFS (The Office of Children and Family Services). As his journey to reunion continues he is also happy to announce a new position as one of several Ambassadors representing The Adoptee Mentoring Society, a community giving light to the adoptee narrative and providing support for adoptees, by adoptees. 

Through his catharsis and above all else he has come to the realization that the road back to oneself is not external after all but inside each and everyone of us just the same. For Adam, it was time to let go of “being let go of”. By sharing his own healing process he hopes to enable other adoptees along the winding road we all have in common. 

S9, Ep. 3: Melissa

Melissa was adopted at birth in 1965 in Little Rock, AR. Her adoptive parents were able to take her home at five days old straight from the hospital since it was a private adoption facilitated by the doctors and lawyer. Understanding the signs of the times as she grew, she never felt rejected by her birth mother. Her life has been full and blessed from the beginning. For most of her life, she declared there wasn’t a desire to search when asked. However, searching for familiar faces in a crowd and then internet and social media searches crept throughout different periods of her lifetime. Holding her daughter and then her son two years later increased her desire to have biological connections that had been missing in her life. When her adoptive father began having health problems, she knew it was time to get serious about her search. 

S9, Ep. 2: Michelle

Michelle Rice-Gauvreau is a native Mohawk woman born in 1969 in Canada and raised in Connecticut via an illegal adoption, which was commonplace for many Indian babies throughout many years across North America.  She is the author of Who Am I? Native American Child Taken From A Reservation And Raised In White America. Michelle is a compassionate advocate for all adoptees looking for their own truth, peace, and hope. She hopes to instill her strength to any adoptee struggling to find their way.
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Michelle now works as a legal professional for a prestigious law firm. She resides in Connecticut with her husband of many years and her two senior cats.  She enjoys traveling and learning more about native cultures far and wide.

S9, Ep. 1: Rebecca

Rebecca is an adoptee, mother, teacher, historian, and award-winning author of the recently published ‘Who Is a Worthy Mother'? An Intimate History of Adoption.’ Rebecca was driven to write a history of adoption in the United States from the perspective of an adoptee and to honor the memory of her older sister and the truth of brave women everywhere. Rebecca teaches in the School of Education at the University of Puget Sound and lives in Seattle with her husband and two daughters.

S8, Ep. 20: FINALE: Ann Fessler

Ann Fessler is an author, filmmaker, and installation artist. Her work addresses the gap between the authoritative history one learns in history books, and that same history as understood by those who lived it. She has spent more than thirty years bringing stories of ordinary people, and the first-person narratives of adoption, into the public sphere through her visual works and Writing.

Fessler traveled the country to interview more than 100 women who lost children to adoption during the 28 years that followed WWII when a perfect storm of circumstances led to an unprecedented 1.5 million non-family surrenders. With the support of a 2003-04 Radcliffe Fellowship at Harvard, Fessler researched the history of the era and later combined her research and interviews in a non-fiction book, The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women Who Lost Children to Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade (The Penguin Press, 2006).

The book, which places the women’s stories within the social history of the time period and her own story as an adoptee was called “wrenching, riveting” by the Chicago Tribune; “a remarkably well-researched and accomplished book” by the New York Times; and “a blend of deeply moving personal tales, bolstered by solid sociological analysis—journalism of the first order” by the San Francisco Chronicle. The Girls Who Went Away was chosen as one of the top 5 non-fiction books of 2006 by the National Book Critics Circle and was awarded the Ballard Book Prize, given annually to a female author who advances the dialogue about women’s rights. In 2011, The Girls Who Went Away was chosen by readers of Ms. magazine as one of the top 100 feminist books of all time.

S8, Ep. 19: Julie

Julie Brumley is a trauma-informed adoptee coach who has been coaching men and women for more than 15 years to overcome addictive behaviors and heal the primal trauma of abandonment. She is also the CEO of Coming Home to Self, a company dedicated to helping adoptees heal. After her own birth mother tried to abort her twice, she found herself frozen in an unconscious trauma response for decades until she found the power of somatic trauma healing. Now, she uses somatics, nervous system regulation, personal experience, and her master's in counseling to help other adult adoptees find their way out of their own trauma and into a life of radical self-belonging.

S8, Ep. 18: Ann

Ann Haralambie is an award-winning author and a trial and appellate attorney (a Certified Family Law Specialist and a Certified Child Welfare Law Specialist). She has a BA in Creative Writing, an MA in English Literature, and a JD in law. Her first book was a poetry chapbook published in 1976 by Desert First Works while she was in law school. Her three-volume Thomson Reuters legal treatise, "Handling Child Custody, Abuse and Adoption Cases 3d" is supplemented annually. Her three other major law books are written primarily for a legal and multi-disciplinary professional audience.

Ann is an adoptee who searched for her birth family for 35 years. Her award-winning book, "Not Nicholson: The Story of a First Daughter," (2023) is an adoption search and reunion memoir. It has been called "a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring quest for self-understanding. . . a deeply moving read, one that resonates long after the final page is turned" (The Reading Bud), "universally inspiring, exemplifying an unwavering resolve that continues even in the face of numerous obstacles. . . an invaluable companion for those navigating the intricate paths of understanding and acceptance in the realms of adoption" (Literary Titan), and "a compelling read that balances personal narrative with broader social issues. . . . a book that will appeal to a wide range of readers, . . . a powerful reminder of the enduring human spirit and the profound impact of uncovering one’s past." (Jeyran Main, Editor-in-chief, Review Tales Magazine).

Spending her time equally between Arizona and New Hampshire, in her spare time Ann loves singing all kinds of music from classical choral music to traditional Irish/Scottish songs to worship music, playing various fretted string instruments and the Irish bodhrán (a framed goatskin drum), Irish and ballroom dancing, and serving as the Loon Preservation Committee field volunteer for Silver Lake, NH.

S8, Ep. 17: Lena

Lena Rosenbloom is a domestic, closed-adopted person from New Jersey. She was adopted in the 80s and raised as an only child in an adoptive family that could not have children. She entered reunion in 2002 with her paternal biological family. Lena discovered her biological family through the adoption.com website and message boards in 2002. She has three half-siblings on her paternal side. Lena has reached out to her biological mother two times in the past 20 years and has been rejected. Lena is a licensed clinical social worker in Florida working with grief and loss as well as terminally ill clients. She helped start a nonprofit organization for first responder spouses in 2018. She has been married to her wonderful husband for 15 years and has two children. She loves to journal, make crafts, and find healing through music and concerts. 

S8, Ep. 16: Stephen

Stephen Grochol is a Financial Planner in San Mateo, CA. He and his wife just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and they have two daughters. He is a post-Baby Scoop and post-Roe v. Wade adoptee. Born in Oakland, CA in 1974 he is the oldest of three. One brother was adopted and the youngest was not. Stephen’s adoptive parents went through a private doctor for this process. He was relinquished immediately after birth and whisked home to Pacifica where he grew up. A stroke of luck occurred when his Aunt and Godmother procured the names of his birth parents during his delivery.

As time went on things within his family unit started to unravel. His younger brother, also adopted, started suffering mental health issues and was ultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic and bi-polar. The family was hamstrung by the fact his medical records were sealed by the state of California. This was the prompt that Stephen needed to start the reunion process, for real. His parents were amazingly supportive throughout the entire search for reunion. This just made things okay. On his 28 th birthday, armed with “the adoption file” he was able to quickly track down his birth father. They have been in reunion since 2003.

Tracking down his birth mother was a much more difficult task. Two weeks after he was born the birth parents broke up and she joined a church that had some “cult-like” qualities. In 2017, Stephen and his birth father used Ancestry DNA to narrow the search for her. It worked! It’s here where he met a half-sister on his mother’s side. From there he was able to finally track down their birth mother on Halloween of all dates.

The reunion with both parents and the siblings has been filled with joy and happiness. There have been several family reunions where Stephen finally feels like he’s “wearing the right uniform.” Of course, no reunion is perfect but we are pretty close.

It’s after all this that Stephen has come out of the fog. Listening to Sarah and Louise, along with more specialized therapy are major factors for this. Stephen is quite familiar with fog as he grew up in Pacifica…. One of the foggiest towns in California. Sunny days lie ahead….

S8, Ep. 15: Jennifer

Jennifer Dyan Ghoston is a same-race domestic foster alum and adoptee in reunion with both sides of her biological family. After a 27-year career in law enforcement with the Chicago Police Department, she retired in 2014 as a police detective. In 2015, she self-published her memoir, "The Truth So Far...a detective's journey to reunite with her birth family". She credits her spiritual journey that started over forty years ago for allowing her path to unfold in unexpected and meaningful ways. In 2021, Jennifer's continued efforts to be open, honest, and public about her lived experience while holding space for other members of the constellation (primarily adoptees) has led to hosting the podcast, "Once Upon A Time...In Adopteeland". She currently co-facilitates the Adoptee Voices Writing Group created by Sara Easterly.