Sharla: For This Adoptee, the Truth Came Later

S9, Ep.15: Sharla

Placed for adoption through a West Texas county children’s home, Sharla is a “Baby Scoop”-era adoptee. Sharla’s biological mother moved across the state to live with her older sister and family until the time of Sharla’s birth. On the day Sharla was born, a married couple who applied to adopt was contacted. Several days later, with their 9-year-old son in tow, they drove an hour to come for her at the children’s home. She grew up in a fairly typical family and home. Always having known she was adopted, as is often the narrative, she has no memory of ever being told. The subject was never discussed, although she did know her parents had NonID information and an “adoption papers” folder. For the majority of her life, her adoption didn’t seem important to her or anyone else. 
In 2019, the secrets and undisclosed information of the past 51 years suddenly began to come to light. Unbeknownst to Sharla, her 23andMe DNA kit would soon reveal a close relative via an email. Suddenly, she could decide if she wanted to know the truth about her biological heritage. She later expressed to her husband that in all the years she had said it didn’t matter to her, that was true. However, she explained that when you spend decades believing there’s no way to ever learn the truth, you may convince yourself that it’s not important. 
With the encouragement of her husband and children, she is building new relationships. She has also enjoyed a long-overdue, warm, and loving reunion with her maternal aunt, who initially considered adopting her and was there to see her the day she was born. 
Despite some rejection along the way, loving and seeking out people and relationships hasn’t become any less of a priority for Sharla. This 5-year journey has helped her recognize how being adopted didn’t define her, but it has shaped and affected her. She is a recovering people-pleaser, has begun to realize that it is not her role to make everything and everyone okay, and is currently finding peace with the “what-ifs."

You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker 

Closure - Angela Tucker Documentary

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RESOURCES for Adoptees
S12F Helping Adoptees
Adoptee Mentoring Society
Jeff Forney - Innocent People Project
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
Unraveling Adoption
Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova