EPISODES
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Gretchen: Relinquished. The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood
S7, Finale: Gretchen: Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood.
Gretchen Sisson, PhD is a qualitative sociologist who studies abortion and adoption in the United States, based at Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health (ANSIRH) in the Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology, and Reproductive Sciences at the University of California, San Francisco. She is the author of Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood, a ten-year examination of adoption relinquishment during the years of Roe.
Steve: An Adoptee Talks Birth Records
S7, Ep: 11: Steve
Steve Inskeep is an adoptee and adoptive parent born in 1968, the peak year for adoptions in America during the Baby Scoop Era.
He is a host of NPR's Morning Edition, as well as NPR's morning news podcast Up First.
Known for interviews with presidents and Congressional leaders, Steve has a passion for stories of the less famous: Pennsylvania truck drivers, Kentucky coal miners, U.S.-Mexico border detainees, Yemeni refugees, California firefighters, and American soldiers.
And now adoptees can be added to that list. Recently, he published an in-depth article in The Atlantic about America’s long history of secret adoption:
NO ONE’S CHILDREN - America's long history of secret adoption
A native of Carmel, Indiana, Inskeep is a graduate of Morehead State University in Kentucky and resides in Washington, DC.
Christina: The Ups and Downs of Reunion
S7, Ep: 10: Christina
Christina Thanstrom is a baby Scoop-era adoptee born in Los Angeles in 1966. A loving couple adopted her in 1967 through LA County and she had a mostly idyllic childhood with a younger brother (also adopted) in the San Fernando Valley.
Christina was reunited with her birth mother, Arleen, an R.N., at age 19 while in college (the same age Arleen had given birth to Christina). Christina learned that when Arleen’s parents discovered her pregnancy, they threw her high school graduation photo against the wall and called her a “whore.” She then went to a “home for unwed mothers” where she gave birth to Christina.
Reunion was fraught with unspoken emotions and unaddressed traumas on both sides. Sadly, Arleen died at 52. 23&Me introduced Christina to her bio-father’s family, who have opened their arms and hearts to her.
Christina and her hubby David are proud parents of adult children, Sophia and Harrison. Christina is a devoted rescue pup mom and fierce animal rescue advocate. She hopes that we overcome and eliminate the shame and the secrecy surrounding adoption on all sides of the triangle.
Mark: An Adoptee Holds the Church Accountable
S7, Ep. 9: Mark
Mark Diebel has been married for almost 46 years and has two sons and two grandchildren. He has been serving as an Episcopal priest in parish ministry for thirty-six years. He was reunited with his birth mother, a second-generation Japanese immigrant, in 2004 when he was 49. A year later he learned that his natural father, a Cuban doctor, was killed in a bizarre accident in Matanzas Cuba in 1970. Over the years, he has learned about both of his first parents and visited their homes in Hawaii and Cuba. As an Episcopal priest, he advocated for adoptees and donor-conceived persons to have access to their personal information and their right to know their origins and their parentage. In May 2012, he wrote an essay, Human Nature and Truthfulness in Adoption and Donor Conception Practice, for the Journal for Christian Legal Thought. He explores the relationship between Christian theology and contemporary adoption practices. He talks about his adoption experience, adoption practices in general, race, and identity in sermons. Mark is currently working with The Episcopal Church as it begins to examine its complicity in the practice of forced adoptions during the Baby Scoop Era. He is retired and living close to his grandchildren in Owensboro, Kentucky.
Cary: Coming to Terms with the Complexities of Adoption
S7, Ep. 8: Cary
Cary is a baby scoop-era adoptee who was born in a Florence Crittenton Home in Atlantic City NJ in 1964. Her first mother was 19 years old and was forced to relinquish her baby like many young mothers of those times. Cary had a great upbringing in a family that loved her and never made her feel othered. In her early 30s she reunited with her birth mother and then her birth father. The reunions went well for the most part, but some family members that started out enthusiastic soon became clearly uninterested in staying connected.
Even in the best situations, adoption is incredibly complex. In recent years after the death of her older, adopted, sister, Cary has been better understanding just how complex it can be. Her relationship with her sister was great—as long as she was a child. It became more complicated and difficult as adult years went by. Losing her sister, and therefore her best connection to the parents who raised her and whom she loved dearly, has brought up a lot of adoption-related issues that she hadn't really tuned into before.
What she would like people to understand most is that an adoptee can be both happy with who they grew up with, how they were raised, and the life they’ve had, while also feeling sad and having complicated feelings about the loss they started life with, and the impact adoption has had on them.
Ellen: An Unexpected DNA Test Was Life-Changing
S7, Ep. 7: Ellen
Ellen is a baby scoop-era New York State adoptee. She was adopted by a loving Greek American couple through a closed private adoption and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area with a younger adopted brother.
Ellen always wanted to find her original family and searched off and on starting in the early 90s but kept hitting roadblocks. Her adoptive parents were not supportive of her search so she had very little information to go on. Then a friend had her rescue dog’s DNA tested which changed everything for the better.
Simone: A Lifelong Search for Coherence
S7, Ep. 6: Simone
Simone Pajo was born in Auckland New Zealand in 1968, the baby scoop era. She was the middle child between two bio children and was adopted after the death of the middle bio daughter. She grew up knowing her adoption was the result of a baby's death and this greatly affected the way she saw the world and her place in it. It has taken decades for Simone to form a coherent worldview where her right to her identity does not depend on the needs of others.
She has lived in the UK for over 30 years and is a law graduate and former journalist.
Ryan: A Foundling Looks for Answers
S7, Ep. 5: Ryan
Ryan Anderson is a foundling and a transnational, transracial, and late discovery adoptee (LDA). Found on the street in El Jadida, Morocco he was adopted at age 3 months and then brought to Scotland at age 6 months, in between this time he was fostered by a Moroccan family. He first found out he was adopted at age 18. Since 2020 he has been focused on personal development, to then became open to sharing his story at age 31.
Jessica: For this Adoptee, Unsealed Records Reveal Answers Close to Home
S7, Ep. 4: Jessica
Jessica is a 1970 baby scoop-era adoptee, who started discovering her roots at age 50. After more than 80 years of closed records in NYS, she was able to obtain her original birth certificate in 2020. Two DNA tests and one secret after another uncovered a history of relinquishment, trauma, and family ties nearby of where she resides in upstate New York.
At 54, Jessica is learning to live her truth on her terms and allowing herself to heal from the lifelong effects of being adopted. A retired art teacher, she is running a thriving business and enjoying her life with her amazing sons and husband, all while continuing to uncover more pieces of her genetic puzzle.
Valerie: Mystic Masquerade, An Adoptee's Search for Truth
S7, Ep. 3: Valerie
Valerie Naiman is an adoptee, singer, story-songwriter, eco-village founder, ontologist, and author. Her #1 bestseller book, Mystic Masquerade, an Adoptee's Search for Truth, was based on five decades of a search that took her around the world as she unraveled the mystery of her stolen identity.
Valerie holds a master's degree in Art and worked as a costume designer and actress in film and theatre in NY, Miami & LA. She’s the President of the Spirit Foundation, a non-profit that supports disenfranchised children..She also leads seekers to sacred sites in the USA and abroad. In 1990 she had an intense vision that ended up founding the first Eco-village in North America.
Through all of her adventures, she journaled her findings as she excavated her biological and spiritual identity.
Presently, Valerie is completing an audiobook version of Mystic Masquerade and producing an album of story songs about her search. She now lives on a small organic farm in Asheville, NC with her dwarf goats and honeybees.
Chris: Unraveling the Mystery of Family History
S7, Ep. 2: Chris
Chris Valdheims is a domestic adoptee born in the late 1970s and adopted in the early 1980s after spending years of his early childhood in foster care. Growing up, he knew very little about his birth family other than his mother and father had met while she worked as a librarian at MIT. He also knew his father was Black, and his mother had immigrated to the United States from Latvia. He spent years searching for answers about his family of origin, and in 2009, he stumbled upon a complex story that involved his grandfather, a then-unknown geometric artist named Zanis Waldheims.
Following the trail from there, he began to unravel the mystery of his family history and, in the process, learn more about himself and where he had come from. His journey took him to Canada, Germany, Latvia, and Lithuania for answers, and he shares the story in a recently completed memoir for which he is currently seeking the right publishing partner. Along the way, he discovered that his father may have been one of the astronauts killed in the 1986 Challenger Space Shuttle disaster.
He resides in Los Angeles with his wife and two sons and is the founder of a well-known law firm, Counsel for Creators.
Margaret Jane: For this Adoptee, the Questions Came Early
S7, Ep. 1: Margaret Jane
After being an only child all her life, Margaret Jane’s adoptive parents adopted four more children through the foster care system. This experience of witnessing adoption through foster care, and being the oldest sister of a group of adoptees, has given her a unique perspective and experience with adoption.
Margaret Jane is married to her high school sweetheart, who she shares 3 kiddos with. She is an avid gardener, houseplant collector, and sourdough enthusiast. She also enjoys playing various musical instruments with her family and singing and playing for her church worship team.
Margaret Jane works as an adoption “storyteller” for Adoption.com, where her job is to write and tell her own adoption story, as well as the adoption stories of other adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents. She is passionate about educating adoptive parents on how to do adoption better. She is also passionate about amplifying adoptee voices and sharing their stories.
Susan: I Would Meet You Anywhere
S6, Season Finale: Susan: I Would Meet You Anywhere
Susan Ito is the author of the memoir, I Would Meet You Anywhere, published by the Ohio State University Press in November 2023. She co-edited the literary anthology A Ghost At Heart’s Edge: Stories & Poems of Adoption. Her work has appeared in The Writer, Growing Up Asian American, Choice, Hip Mama, Literary Mama, Catapult, Hyphen,The Bellevue Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her theatrical adaption of Untold, stories of reproductive stigma, was produced at Brava Theater. She is a member of the Writers’ Grotto, and teaches at the Mills College campus of Northeastern University. She was a co-organizer of Rooted and Written, a writing workshop for writers of color.
Stacie: For This Adoptee, the Longing Tugged at her Heart
S6, Ep. 13: Stacie
Stacie is a Canadian born and an adoptee to same race and religion parents in 1991-1992. She is part of a mixed family of adopted and “home-made” siblings, all boys, and is the second oldest. She grew up mostly outdoors in the Wasatch Mountains of Utah. Traveling to Canada every summer fostered loving bonds with both of her grandmas and many cousins. Living further away from them, though, meant she had to create her group of “family” as she grew up. She’s maintained supportive friendships spanning over 25 years that have involved a lot of skiing, hiking, traveling, education, football games, collecting dogs, significant others, and now nieces and nephews.
Reading and music have always been crucial in her life allowing her to think beyond the mountains enclosing the valley she grew up in. Her parents couldn’t contain her independence early on as she studied abroad in Costa Rica and then Spain. After the initial culture shock, she thrives in solitude; searching for something untouched by her conscious mind, a longing that always tugged at her heart. Learning about and experiencing other cultures has been a way to fill the void of her unknown lineage. She isn’t afraid to show her gratitude in any setting: thankfulness, every moment, every experience, and every person who has contributed to that sense of fullness.
Regardless of the reason for “searching” for a first family, Stacie believes in adoptees. should always feel free and empowered to do so. She doesn’t believe there is a “right” way to do it as adoptees never signed a legal form to be in this position so they shouldn’t be held to the standards are adoptive parents agreed to. The World Wide Web is our friend!
Stacie hopes to finish her memoir at some point in the future and maintain healthy relationships with all the family involved in her birth and upbringing. You can find her only on Instagram @stacegrier or in the mountains. Sending so much love to all the adoptees finding their way or already there
Ken: The Unknown Led to Answers
S6, Ep: 12: Ken
Ken DeStefano is a domestic adoptee born in the late 1960's and raised in a caring and loving home. As an adoptee, he has had a largely happy life, but always wondered about the unknown. That curiosity led to a search for his birth mother and a reunification with her. His debut novel, "I Will See You Again...Hearts Will Sing," tells the story of two people whose past, present, and future lives are inexplicably linked.
Victoria: A Change in the Law Led to Search and Reunion
S6, Ep: 11: Victoria
Victoria Rich never expected to search for her biological family. Always curious about her origins, she did a photography project at the infant home where she was born but did not pursue any personal searching. Then she read The Girls Who Went Away and was struck that so many of the women interviewed said they thought about and worried about their babies all the time. She had grown up hearing the message that you should never look because it would be too painful to open up the old wounds for the birth mother. After about a decade of debating whether or not to search, New York State opened its adoption records in 2020. She first spoke to her birth mother the week before the pandemic shutdown. Their reunion was the subject of a PBS Self-Evident Episode.
John: Operation Baby Lift and the Erasure of Culture
S6, Ep: 10: John
John Frey was born in Vietnam and brought to the United States as part of Operation Babylift when he was a year-and-a-half old. John often struggled with his identity, having been adopted and raised by a White American family while not having any connection to his birth country or culture.
Kristal: Because She's Adopted
S6, Ep: 9: Kristal
Kristal Parke is a talented Cree filmmaker, producer, podcast host, and adoptee, whose personal journey has driven her to explore themes of identity, belonging, and family in her work. Born and raised on the West Coast of Canada, Kristal was adopted into a non-indigenous family as an infant. This experience profoundly shaped her perspective on life, and she has used her creative prowess to shed light on the complexities of adoption and its impact on individuals and communities. In her highly anticipated debut feature documentary, titled "Because She's Adopted," Kristal delves deep into her own life story while also weaving together the narratives of other adoptees from diverse backgrounds. Through heartfelt interviews, poignant storytelling, and powerful visuals, the film offers a touching and introspective exploration of what it truly means to belong, and the universal longing for a sense of connection and acceptance. The “Because She’s Adopted Podcast” will also be making its way onto the podcast stage Fall of 2024. Kristal Parke cements herself as a compassionate and insightful filmmaker and host, encouraging audiences to reflect on their own stories of identity and belonging.
You can find Kristal @Because She's Adopted on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook & YouTube.
Lorah: The Adopted Chameleon
S6, Ep: 8: Lorah
Lorah Gerald is a same race, domestic, Baby Scoop Era, preRoe adoptee. She posts as The Adopted Chameleon on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Patreon, and Pinterest. She co-facilitates Adoptees Connect Tulsa and has a private Facebook group for adoptees and all MPEs called The Adopted Chameleons. She started her social media pages after her reunion with her biological family.
She was raised as an only child in her adoptive family. This was the first time in her life she had ever seen or been in contact with anyone in her biological family. Her birth mother ignored her and rejected her attempts at reunion. She was a secret to her whole family. Reunion was a rollercoaster of emotions. It opened up feelings she had suppressed. She found writing, being creative, and telling her story was therapeutic. Her pages connected her with others who are experiencing adoption trauma. Since that time she has been educating people on the trauma of adoption and how we can help heal ourselves. To better deal with her trauma, she became a certified kundalini yoga instructor, TIYT-Trauma Informed Yoga Therapy instructor, and Reiki Master. With her training in trauma, yoga therapy, and energy healing, she shares these tools online and in person in her weekly yoga classes and workshops. Working with these techniques, she now better understands her trauma and how to help others on their path to being their best and authentic selves.
Sarah: An International Adoptee Gives Back by Writing
S6, Ep. 7: Sarah
Sarah D. Shearer is a writer, wife, and mother. She was adopted from Russia as a baby but has spent her life in Thomasville, Georgia. She is passionate about encouraging people to overcome and maintain a positive perspective.
Sarah is married with two beautiful children. She and her family live on a sprawling rural farm, which gives her, as L.M. Montgomery says in Sarah’s favorite childhood novel Anne of Green Gables, great “scope for the imagination.”
Sarah also enjoys writing for local magazines, reading, and celebrating her friends and family.