EPISODES
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Ken: The Unknown Led to Answers
S6, Ep: 12: Ken
Ken DeStefano is a domestic adoptee born in the late 1960's and raised in a caring and loving home. As an adoptee, he has had a largely happy life, but always wondered about the unknown. That curiosity led to a search for his birth mother and a reunification with her. His debut novel, "I Will See You Again...Hearts Will Sing," tells the story of two people whose past, present, and future lives are inexplicably linked.
Victoria: A Change in the Law Led to Search and Reunion
S6, Ep: 11: Victoria
Victoria Rich never expected to search for her biological family. Always curious about her origins, she did a photography project at the infant home where she was born but did not pursue any personal searching. Then she read The Girls Who Went Away and was struck that so many of the women interviewed said they thought about and worried about their babies all the time. She had grown up hearing the message that you should never look because it would be too painful to open up the old wounds for the birth mother. After about a decade of debating whether or not to search, New York State opened its adoption records in 2020. She first spoke to her birth mother the week before the pandemic shutdown. Their reunion was the subject of a PBS Self-Evident Episode.
John: Operation Baby Lift and the Erasure of Culture
S6, Ep: 10: John
John Frey was born in Vietnam and brought to the United States as part of Operation Babylift when he was a year-and-a-half old. John often struggled with his identity, having been adopted and raised by a White American family while not having any connection to his birth country or culture.
Kristal: Because She's Adopted
S6, Ep: 9: Kristal
Kristal Parke is a talented Cree filmmaker, producer, podcast host, and adoptee, whose personal journey has driven her to explore themes of identity, belonging, and family in her work. Born and raised on the West Coast of Canada, Kristal was adopted into a non-indigenous family as an infant. This experience profoundly shaped her perspective on life, and she has used her creative prowess to shed light on the complexities of adoption and its impact on individuals and communities. In her highly anticipated debut feature documentary, titled "Because She's Adopted," Kristal delves deep into her own life story while also weaving together the narratives of other adoptees from diverse backgrounds. Through heartfelt interviews, poignant storytelling, and powerful visuals, the film offers a touching and introspective exploration of what it truly means to belong, and the universal longing for a sense of connection and acceptance. The “Because She’s Adopted Podcast” will also be making its way onto the podcast stage Fall of 2024. Kristal Parke cements herself as a compassionate and insightful filmmaker and host, encouraging audiences to reflect on their own stories of identity and belonging.
You can find Kristal @Because She's Adopted on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook & YouTube.
Lorah: The Adopted Chameleon
S6, Ep: 8: Lorah
Lorah Gerald is a same race, domestic, Baby Scoop Era, preRoe adoptee. She posts as The Adopted Chameleon on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Patreon, and Pinterest. She co-facilitates Adoptees Connect Tulsa and has a private Facebook group for adoptees and all MPEs called The Adopted Chameleons. She started her social media pages after her reunion with her biological family.
She was raised as an only child in her adoptive family. This was the first time in her life she had ever seen or been in contact with anyone in her biological family. Her birth mother ignored her and rejected her attempts at reunion. She was a secret to her whole family. Reunion was a rollercoaster of emotions. It opened up feelings she had suppressed. She found writing, being creative, and telling her story was therapeutic. Her pages connected her with others who are experiencing adoption trauma. Since that time she has been educating people on the trauma of adoption and how we can help heal ourselves. To better deal with her trauma, she became a certified kundalini yoga instructor, TIYT-Trauma Informed Yoga Therapy instructor, and Reiki Master. With her training in trauma, yoga therapy, and energy healing, she shares these tools online and in person in her weekly yoga classes and workshops. Working with these techniques, she now better understands her trauma and how to help others on their path to being their best and authentic selves.
Sarah: An International Adoptee Gives Back by Writing
S6, Ep. 7: Sarah
Sarah D. Shearer is a writer, wife, and mother. She was adopted from Russia as a baby but has spent her life in Thomasville, Georgia. She is passionate about encouraging people to overcome and maintain a positive perspective.
Sarah is married with two beautiful children. She and her family live on a sprawling rural farm, which gives her, as L.M. Montgomery says in Sarah’s favorite childhood novel Anne of Green Gables, great “scope for the imagination.”
Sarah also enjoys writing for local magazines, reading, and celebrating her friends and family.
Roy: For this Neurodiverse Adoptee, Art and Music Helped Him Heal
S6, Ep. 6: Roy
Born in Edinburgh in 1963, Roy grew up an only child and always knew he was adopted, or as his adoptive mother, Mollie, would tell him, “chosen”. Whilst loved unconditionally by Mollie and her husband Peter, the stigma of being an adopted teenager in 1970s Scotland resulted in Roy being bullied and spat on in school.
At sixteen, he left Mollie a note asking if she had any information about his blood parents. She supplied a form his birth mother had filled in at the adoption agency that gave some details but omitted others, including his father’s name.
Roy became a father himself in his mid-forties, his newborn son being the first blood relation he had consciously laid eyes on. In his early fifties, having had his full adoption papers opened, Roy discovered his mother had made a Transatlantic trip to give birth to him before swiftly returning to her home in Toronto, keeping her pregnancy a lifelong secret. Within a few months, he had found the identity of his father and traveled to Canada, meeting close family on both sides he’d never known he had.
Roy has since published a series of poems, Be My Baby, and released a CD, Songs from Be My Baby, relating to his adoption and experiences of neurodiversity which further marked him out as "different" at school and continue to impact his life. Writing and performing help him feel closer to both sets of parents and to understanding himself.
Pam: A Rare Diagnosis Led This Adoptee on a Search
S6, Ep. 5: Pam
Pam Uzzell is a documentary filmmaker and podcaster currently living in Oakland, CA. She is the director and producer of four independent documentaries and the host and producer of the podcast, Art Heals All Wounds.
Her adoptive parents were loving but saw her as the “oddball” of her family, resulting in a profound sense of loneliness. She turned to reading as a way to find a sense of belonging, which led her to gravitate towards storytelling as a career. She’d often been curious about both of her biological parents, but when she was diagnosed with a rare disease at age 30, it felt more crucial to find answers.
After making a connection with her birth mother and her extended family years later, no one on that side of the family appears to have this disease. She discovered that her biological father had passed away two years before she found out his name. In all probability, he was the parent who passed this disease down and he had no other children besides her. However, there are unexplained DNA connections on Ancestry that suggest a mystery behind her father’s origins. Despite attempts to connect with these connections and get more information, she still has more questions than answers about her father’s ancestry and whether there are more biological family members who share this disease.
Sally: For This Adoptee, Hard Life Lessons Are Paying Off
S6, Ep. 4: Sally
Sally King is an adult adoptee from the foster system. Growing up she knew she did not seem to fit anywhere and just accepted that that was who she was. After marrying and having two biological children a little girl came to her and her husband through the foster care system. This had her embark on a journey of self-discovery and acknowledgment and through the later adoption of her daughter and dealing with social services once again she realized the impact her foster and adoption had on her.
Sally has never looked back on her decision and knows full well the impact adoption can have on a person. Good and bad - there is still an impact. She details this journey through many speaking engagements and the writing of her book, "In Search of Serenity".
Jane: A Late Reunion Brings Family and Answers
S6, Ep. 3: Jane
Jane is a baby scoop-era adoptee born in 1963 in Delaware to a 14 yr. old mother. After being in foster care for the first 10 months she was adopted and raised by two wonderful parents in Pennsylvania.
Shortly after her 2nd birthday, her parents gave birth to a biological son.
Jane always knew she was adopted and wondered where she came from but never wanted or needed to search. But, at the age of 58, after both adoptive parents passed, she did a DNA test as well as some other searching. She found that sadly, her birth mother had been deceased for 20 years. Unable to get to know her, it gave her the urge to search and find out whatever else she could. She discovered that she has six half-siblings. In finding one of the siblings, she found her birth father, with whom she never thought possible.
Jane has been reunited with five of the six siblings, as well as her birth father, numerous aunts, and a cousin.
Jane owns and operates a cleaning business and still resides in Pennsylvania with her partner and 3 cats.
Sean: An Adoptee Faces the Rollercoaster of Reunion
S6, Ep. 2: Sean
Born in 1970, Sean was adopted at birth and always knew he was adopted as long as he can remember. The fact that he was adopted never seemed to bother him or cause any type of turmoil in his life. Sean seemingly had a happy and healthy childhood although alcoholism existed within one of his adoptive parents, his parents ultimately divorced and he had a lack of discipline and guidance due to being alone often.
Growing up, Sean’s adopted mother would remind him from time to time that there will come a day that he will want to meet his biological mother. This didn’t make sense to Sean on the surface and he never really gave the notion of meeting his bio mom any serious thought. It was when Sean, at the age of thirty-three, and his wife started trying to conceive their first child that he realized that he should try to find out some health history for himself.
Sean started his search for his biological mother shortly before his thirty-fourth birthday and was reunited with her about six months later. Since that time, it’s been a roller coaster of emotions that continue to this day and the beginning of meeting many more biological family members over the next eighteen years including siblings, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces and even cousins.
Katherine: A Lifelong Question is Finally Answered
S6, Ep. 1: Katherine
Katherine Sanford is yet another adoptee caught up in the Baby Scoop Era of U.S. closed adoptions and the restrictive laws that prevent access to birth records. It wasn’t until 2017, with the help of two spit-in-a-tube ancestry kits, that she could finally answer the one crucial question she longed to answer: “Who am I?” Katherine writes about her experience in the award-winning book, Storked!
You can follow her at www.kcsanford.com
David and Moses: Season Five Finale
S5, Season Finale: David and Moses
Join us for a deep dive into 'loss' with David Benjamin (guest:Season Two) and Moses Farrow (guest:Season Five).
Koko: An Adoptee Becomes an Advocate
S5, Ep. 12: Koko
Nikole Shaw also known as "Koko" in the online community was born in Hawaiian Gardens, California, growing up in the suburbs of Orange County. Adopted as an infant, she is a black domestic adoptee who spent much of her life in a small town called Brea. Koko received her Bachelors of Science from San Jose State University and is currently working for the Department of Public Health San Francisco as a mental health professional. Koko is mostly known in the adoptee community as @theblackadoptea and spends her time advocating for and creating content for the adoptee community. She has a passion for spoken word and is also a writer who is in the process of completing her first children's book about adoption. Koko continues to share her adoption journey with the world and is reunion with her biological family from Belize.
Shelley: Her Self-Discovery Led to Lasting Peace
S5, Ep. 11: Shelley
Shelley Jean is a baby scoop-era domestic adoptee born in 1970. She was in foster care for about 2 months before being adopted. She always knew she was adopted but didn’t think about it very often until her adoptive mother passed away. At the age of 48, Shelley started on her journey of self-discovery. She now has a hard time imagining her life before searching. The journey has had many ups and downs, but Shelley is content to finally know her own story.
Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond.
Kevin: From Darkness to Joy
S5, Ep. 10: Kevin
Kevin Barhydt is a YouTube creator and the author of Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother. His YouTube channel creates a safe space for survivors of addiction, abandonment, adoption, and child sexual abuse, to explore the healing process.
Abandoned by his mother at birth, Kevin was enveloped in a labyrinth of adoption, addiction, and child sexual abuse. By age 20, a shell of the boy he once was, Kevin succumbed completely to a suicidal lifestyle of drug dealing and prostitution. At 45, after many years of recovery, Kevin began a painful journey to uncover his origins and the hopeful search for his mother.
His book, “Dear Stephen Michael’s Mother”, chronicles the unfolding of these stories. The interwoven perspectives offer an unflinching look at the myriad ways life can cloak us in darkness and helplessness yet still resonate with joy and recovery.
Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond.
Monica: Childhood Trauma Led to Empowerment
S5, Ep. 9: Monica
Monica Hall is an author, adoptee, and birthmother. She was adopted from Canada by American parents during the 60s Scoop Era when indigenous children were removed from their families and placed in non-indigenous homes. She was raised in Alaska, where she spent the first sixteen years of her life and had the foundational experiences that drove her writing. Monica now lives in Northern California and began working on a memoir in the Spring of 2016 when her daughter urged her to document her extraordinary but painful past.
Monica started by writing about her experience with adoption but soon recognized that there was a larger story to explore. Once her memoir began taking shape, she realized she needed to uncover repressed childhood memories, dissect the mystery of reoccurring dreams, and face the demons that once drove her to self-destruct. Through the memoir-writing process, she has also posted various essays about her life experiences on her website monicahall.com.
Although her memoir and essays tell the story of guilt, shame, and her troubled childhood, her remarkable story is also about empowerment and courage—and how pain can come full circle to healing.
Those interested in Monica’s story are encouraged to sign up for new essay posts and book release dates on monicahall.com. She can also be found on Facebook and Instagram as Monica Hall Author.
Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond.
Vicky: Starting a Family Led to Deep Discoveries
S5, Ep. 8: Vicky
A few kismet moments in her early twenties led her on a journey of discovering who she looks like. Vicky Heydon was adopted through a private county adoption right after birth in 1987 and then raised in the same county. Although she believes she crossed paths with her biological family a few years prior, it wasn't until she was in her late 20s when she was helping to pack up her parents to move out of state that led her to her biological family.
When the idea of building her own family came into focus, Vicky began facing her truths about adoption and began to focus on the question, "Is it nature or nurture?"
Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond.
Moses: Adoptee. Advocate. Therapist. Educator.
S5, Ep. 7: Moses
Moses Farrow, LMFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who has 20+ years of working in the mental health field. Farrow has spent the last decade within the population of adopted people and their families. As an activist and speaker, he is mission-driven. In 2018, he wrote a blog article speaking out about his personal life as a survivor of abuse and suicide loss. Since then, he has started several initiatives in the fight against anti-Asian hate, suicide, human rights violations, child abuse, mental health stigma, and child trafficking. Throughout the past decade, Farrow has volunteered with a number of nonprofit organizations focused on addressing adoption issues. He has continued to share his personal experiences and those of his siblings who are no longer able to on his social media and on news and pop culture platforms such as The Guardian, Love What Matters, and numerous podcasts. Today, he adds voice to the efforts of other activists regarding the criminal elements of the adoption industry that result in the deaths of adopted people.
Haley: Podcaster, Community-Builder, Connector
S5, Ep. 6: Haley
Haley Radke is an adoptee advocate and the creator and host of the popular podcast, Adoptees On, where adopted people share their adoption experiences. Adoptees On has more than 250 episodes featuring adoptees and adoptee therapists and has been downloaded over 1.2 million times in 140+ countries worldwide. www.adopteeson.com
Also in this episode, Sarah and Louise discuss The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond.