
Adoption: The Making of Me: An Oral History of Adoptee Stories
On this podcast, two adult adoptees discuss all things adoption from the adoptee perspective.
Latest Episodes
S11, Ep. 4: Alejandra
Alejandra was adopted at five years old into a Mexican-American family. She had never sought her family of origin, but when they arrived unexpectedly, her inner strength was tested, and her spiritual growth began.
S11, Ep. 3: Jacqueline
Jacqueline, now 63 and living in Cape Town, South Africa, was born in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1962, following a relationship between her English-born biological mother, a professional actress on contract to a theatre company in Nairobi, and her Welsh and Irish biological father, a radio announcer in Nairobi. Following Jacqueline's birth, and the abandonment of her and her biological mother by her biological father, her biological mother followed him to Zimbabwe, but he refused involvement or responsibility. At Jacqueline's biological mother's father's "pleading" with her to "keep the baby", she returned to her acting career, subjecting Jacqueline to 16 months of severe abuse and neglect, which resulted in her being adopted at 16 months in Zimbabwe. While her physical needs were very well met within her adoptive family, her emotional needs were neglected, her manifest trauma being strictly discouraged, and the emotional abuse was perpetuated. Following a lifetime of fear/anxiety, specifically relationship-related, and recurring severe despair/depression, Jacqueline's belief, and message to fellow adoptees and healthcare professionals working with adoption-related and general childhood trauma, is this: sometimes the trauma is too early, too severe and too prolonged for healing to be possible, but the cycle of abuse can be broken. Jacqueline lives the proof that acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness are possible. She has broken the cycles of neglect and abuse, evident in her relationship with her daughter and son, with whom she has a relationship of deep love, mutual respect, and much joy and care.
S11, Ep. 2: Sariah
Sariah is a Chinese Adoptee adopted by a White American Mormon family and recently left the Mormon faith to find herself and to find her birth family.
S11, Ep. 1: Carol
Carol was born in Washington, DC, relinquished at birth in 1960, subsequently adopted in 1961 by a family who had adopted another daughter the year before.
She began her reunion in 2017 by finding out she was the baby sister of 3 half sisters, 2 full sisters, and her father by DNA.
S10, Ep. 12: Cameron Lee Small: The Adoptee’s Journey. Season 10 Finale
Cameron Lee Small, MS, LPCC, is a licensed clinical counselor, transracial adoptee, and mental health advocate based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He was born in Korea and was relinquished into foster care at age three. He was then adopted in 1984 by a family in the United States. His private practice, Therapy Redeemed, specializes in the mental health needs of adoptees and their families wherever they may be in their adoption journey. His work has been featured in Christianity Today, the National Council for Adoption, and the Center for Adoption Support and Education.
S10, Ep. 11: Sandi
Sandi Morgan Caesar is a transnational adoptee. She was born Cristina Rodriguez in Panamá to a 14-year-old girl who parented her for most of her 1st year. Ultimately, she was placed for adoption by her maternal grandmother without the knowledge or consent of her first mother. Sandi was adopted by a Black US Air Force family stationed in Panamá at the time. She was naturalized as a US citizen and then brought to the US at 3 years old. It was about this time that she asked her mom why they didn't have the same face. She grew up in Dayton, Ohio, with older siblings (biological to her adoptive father). Although she thought finding family in Panamá would be impossible, Sandi reunited with her birthmother and maternal family in 2004. Sandi holds a B.S. degree in Human Development from Howard University, an M.S.W. from Indiana University, and has worked in child welfare most of her career.
S10, Ep. 10: Carol
Carol Hoeksema was born at the Salvation Army Evangeline Home for unwed mothers in Grand Rapids, Michigan, in 1957, where she stayed the first 13 days of her life before going to an unknown foster family arranged by Bethany Christian Services. At 3 months, she was given to her adoptive parents and raised in the Dutch immigrant community of Pella, Iowa. She always knew that she was adopted and was curious about her roots. At age 19, she started her search
by going to the adoption agency, and over the next 15 years, she was able to find and contact the families of both birth parents. After experiencing a secondary rejection by her mother, she found healing and belonging in doing genealogy research. In contrast, her late father’s family welcomed her with open arms. She has lived a rich life, full of family, friends, and adventures. A retired family physician, Carol lives with her husband on Camano Island, Washington. They
have 3 grown children and 4 grandchildren. In this interview, she tells the story of her adoption and search for her roots so that her descendants will know their history, too, and wants to give hope to others experiencing birth mother rejection.
S10, Ep. 9: Stephen
Born in 1963, Stephen Payne was five weeks old when his parents adopted him through the Volunteers of America. He grew up an only child in a loving family. At age three, he overheard his parents discussing his adoption with friends. His mother explained it to him in age-appropriate terms, which mostly satisfied his curiosity, yet occasionally left nagging questions.
That inner conflict may have affected his earliest days in school, where he struggled. A diagnosis of ADHD confirmed some of this inner turmoil. A portion of this, Stephen has since learned, was hereditary, possibly caused, too, by adoption. Plus, some cruel neighborhood children ridiculed him about his parentage. Yet 4th grade marked a shift.
Better study habits, unwavering support from family, and several kind teachers and librarians fueled dramatic improvement in his grades, then and later. Nonetheless, it hid his insecurities and anxiety, starting a vicious cycle: an obsession with high grades, which led, inevitably, to more insecurity and anxiety, all in the name of approval.
In 1988 or ‘89, he watched a talk show highlighting a biological mother’s search for her daughter. Haunted by their story, Stephen declared to his mother, “I think I want to look for my biological parents.” Teary-eyed, she gladly offered her and his dad’s help. Days afterward, she located his final decree of adoption and his birth name. Thus began his search. Plus, he witnessed, anew, his parents’ undying devotion to him and eventually, his and their unknown, marvelous connection…
S10, Ep. 8: Mary
Mary, a seventh-generation Tennessean born in Memphis in 1986, was adopted and raised in Jackson, Tennessee, by a supportive family who encouraged her search for her biological relatives. In 2007, she connected with her birth mother, who had mistakenly identified the wrong man as Mary's father. Then, in 2019, a "search angel" and a DNA match through Ancestry.com unexpectedly revealed her actual biological father and a previously unknown family. She has since developed relationships with these newfound blood relatives, while maintaining a connection with the family of the man her birth mother initially believed to be her father
S10, Ep. 7: Heather
Heather G. Marshall is an adoptee, author, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her TED talk, “Letting Go of Expectations,” centers around her adoption and reunion. Her second novel, When the Ocean Flies, released in February 2024 (Vine Leaves Press). The novel is an adoptee-focused exploration of love and longing, of identity and belonging, and of healing from trauma. Heather was born in Leith, Scotland, in 1967, relinquished at birth, sent to foster care, and subsequently adopted in Scotland. She has been in reunion with her mother for twenty years, and was in reunion with her father for the last six years of his life. In her writing, Heather explores family, adoption, women (especially older ones), the natural environment, and how these intersect. When she isn’t writing, she likes to hike, travel, practice yoga and meditation, do a wee bit of knitting, and, of course, read. Originally from Scotland, Heather now lives in the United States. You can find out more about her at heathergmarshall.com.
